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Football365 Dictionary: Y Is For...
Yakubu
Thunderous striker, great big arse, always excellent for Boro in first half of season, then always disappeared around Valentine's Day. Perhaps he met someone nice.
Yashin, Lev
Great Russian goalie, famed for all-black outfits and Soviet worker cloth cap. Stunning performance in 1963 England v Rest Of World match (and thank God we don't have those games any more, eh?) at Wembley assured his legend. His advice to would-be keepers? "Have a smoke to calm your nerves, then toss back a strong drink to tone your muscles." Genius.
Yakin, Hakan
Banging them in for Young Boys, as it were, with 34 goals in 75 games for the Berne outfit.
Yakin, Murat
Brother of the above. Is a pin-up in Switzerland and keen amateur chef most noted for his delicious kebab, which has "gained cult status among elements of the Turkish rap industry", it says here.
Yards, Ten
Distance that players must be from a freekick. Roughly equivalent to seven yards.
Yardstick
Word only used in football. Used to measure a benchmark.
Yawning
Status of goalmouth when deserted by goalkeeper. See Rosenthal, Ronnie.
Yeates, Ron
Terrifying Liverpool cruncher of the Sixites, looked like he would have enjoyed painting himself in wode and charging over Hadrian's Wall to gut a few Sassenachs.
Yeboah, Tony
Terrifying Leeds hitman and proto-Hasselbaink. One Football365 mole insists: "Having been pitch-side at Anfield once when Tony Yeboah fell over with his legs akimbo, I can confirm that he has, in fact, got white b***ocks". Our man is totally adamant on the matter and will brook no suggestion that the b***ocks may have, say, become coloured by the markings on the pitch or some such.
Yeovil Town
Former club of Barrington Belgrave, football's premier Blaxploitation/porn star-named legend. Play at Huish Park, cool name, Botham turned out for them a bit.
Yes-Man
See Neal, Phil; senior figures at FA.
Yesteryear
Phrase to describe the good old days, only used by Ron Atkinson.
Yorath, Gabby
Sports presenter who achieved the seemingly impossible on a week to week basis: making Andy Townsend seem like he knows what he's talking about. Married to two-time Eurovision winner Johnny Logan.
Yorath, Terry
Dad of Gabby; has worked in more clubs in Yorkshire than Jim Bowen.
Yorke, Dwight
Impressive scoring record in a number of clubs around the country.
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
Song sung by Liverpool fans to inspire team in times of crisis, be it their own, or anyone else's they can carpetbag onto.
Young, Ashley
Charming Villa man who wooed a lady on the internets with the immortal: "I wanna have my **** between ur **** and u ****ing the top of my ****," whatever that means, before producing his old chap and going at himself six-nowt on something called a webcam. Perhaps a strange way of behaving when you are a recognisable public figure, but then nobody ever said footballers were bright.
Young Boys Of Berne FC
Swiss club. Of the footballing, rather than hardcore gay kind, surprisingly.
Young, Chick
Awfully Scotch, awful Scotch pundit.
Young, Eric
Headband-wearing hacker, distinguished early member of the Crazy Gang. May be a major factor in the increased use of headbands in the NBA nowadays - a man ahead of his time.
Young Man
Catch-all term used by Brian Clough to address anyone at all. A habit he adopted when he himself was about 24.
Young Side, People Have To Remember We're A
Standard excuse uttered by managers of expensively-assembled yet under-achieving teams. See O'Leary, David.
Young, Willie
Former Arsenal defender. Entered FA Cup folklore for hacking down Paul Allen in the 1980 final, thus setting the benchmark for how all cynical fouls are judged.
Youse Are All F*cking Idiots
Traditional Glaswegian response to a perfectly reasonable question that you can't think of an answer to.
'You The Ref'
Long-running newspaper feature that involves staggeringly obscure questions about the minutiae of the game's laws, always lovingly illustrated, such as "If a player vomits on the pitch and an opponent slips in it BUT he was coming back from an offside position and it's a Tuesday...etc." No matter what the question, the answer is invariably "Award an indirect freekick to the opposition".
Youri
Unusual first name which, hopefully, was bestowed upon youngsters in the Bolton region from 2002-2004, and which should see a really good spate of playground kickings for having such a weird name come on line right about now.
