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The Page Which Has Won A Pair Of Shoes

The Man Doth Protest Too Much
"I'm a big boy and I knew what I was inheriting when I came here" - Alan Curbishley, January 4.

"Don't worry about me, I'm a big boy" - Alan Curbishley, February 27.

"I've had this for a little while now but I'm a big boy" - Alan Curbishley, August 28.

"I'm a big boy, I've been around, I'm quite experienced" - Alan Curbishley, September 3.


Next In Line
Barack Obama has been listed as a 10,000-1 shot to take over from Curbishley after William Hill received a ten pound bet on the American from a 'London-based businessman'.


We Won't Forget Him
So farewell then Harry Harris. According to reports, the great man is in negotiations to leave the Daily Express. The miracle is that this bombshell has been reported by the Media Guardian rather than through another famous Harris exclusive - although given that he hasn't written anything for the newspaper since August 22 even Harold couldn't have pulled that trick off this time.

Still, he wouldn't mind the descriptions applied to him by the website. Aside from being the 'star football writer for the Daily Express', Harold is hailed as being 'regarded as one of the country's top football writers' and 'one of the country's best-paid sports journalists'.

Which is fair enough reward given it was Harry who brought lines such as , 'England will train tomorrow in Bethlehem, birthplace of the legendary Jesus Christ' to the nation.

Fortunately, the great man will not be lost altogether.

Rumour has it that he is leaving the Express to join the BBC. Another triumph for the licence fee then.


Remembering Harold
Still, if Harry is to be remembered, then it's only right we recall his column on New Year's Day, modestly titled 'REMEMBER, YOU READ IT HERE FIRST'.

So what exactly did we need to remember then?

'IT HAS become a new year tradition for this column to come up with the transfer no one would expect,' began our hero. 'I confidently predict that this year we will all be talking about Cristiano Ronaldo going to Real Madrid for £50million.

'When Real target their next major project, you know they will get their man. It happened eventually with Beckham, even though Barcelona made all the running.'

Well as that not-particularly-bold-prediction didn't prove prescient, was there anything else we should have paid attention to?

'For now, we shall have to content ourselves with Anelka going to Chelsea for £12m and the month-long debate on Dimitar Berbatov, who Spurs value at £25m but who United and Chelsea do not. His most likely final destination would be Manchester City, though not this year.'

Oh.

Don't worry Harry, we remember.


And Before We Go
Oh, and we also remember your story on May 30 that announced 'Inter Sign Lampard Before Champions League Final - FRANK LAMPARD will move to Inter Milan for £7million after tomorrow's Champions League final. Lampard has agreed a £28m four-year contract with the Italian side, after weeks of agonising following the death of his mother Pat.'

No wonder he was (and still is) one of the highest-paid hacks on Fleet Street.


Ill Communication
Then Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce, January 1: "I talk to Mike Ashley, once or twice [a week], or sometimes there is no need to. He is kept informed on a regular basis by the chairman but we have a regular conversation and regular communication."

Headline in the Daily Mail, September 4: 'We hardly talked, but Ashley still sacked me'.


The Easiest Question In Football
As currently asked by the Daily Mirror website: 'Think you can outwit our Football Pools experts John Barnes, Tony Cascarino and Graham Poll?'


Dimi The Glory
From the Manchester United official website 'Pride Of Bulgaria': 'In my opinion he is the best Bulgarian player ever. Sure, most of you might think that (former Barcelona forward) Hristo Stoichkov is better, but Berbo will win more honours with United. And for me, he has already surpassed Stoichkov in terms of his manners, politeness and overall behaviour. He's not the type of player to say, "Look at me, I play for the biggest club in the world." He is shy with a good soul and by joining United he's just following his dream.'

Actual quotes from Berbatov: "I don't play for the money. If I wanted to play for the money, I would accept Manchester City's offer or Chelsea's. I want to play for the biggest club in the world and that's why I'm here. I'm thankful for everybody, for the help they have given me and for the work they did."


City Business
Well done to Vedran Corluka for sticking to his guns that he did the right thing in dumping Manchester City just as that Sheikh fella arrived to make them the richest club in the world for Tottenham just as their best player jumped ship.

"It was a big relief because lots of things happened in the last two or three weeks," he declared, apparently unwilling to acknowledge that the biggest thing was City's new owners proving that money will be no object to their ambition of breaking into the top four by spending a bonkers amount on Robinho.

Still, not to worry. "Everything is not just money. Tottenham is a great team and we have the squad to get into the Champions League. My chances of getting there are the same as if I had stayed at City."

That's true for this season as both clubs have little or no chance. As for next season, however...


Headline Of The Day
'We've Got The Sheikhs' - The Sun on Carlos Tevez' admission that City are now genuine rivals.

Misleading Headline Of The Day
'Crazy Vieira Back For Second Stint With Iraq' - The Guardian. It turns out there's more than one Vieira.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Cro 'n Get Old Boy Bil' - The Daily Star. Awful.

Quote Of The Day
"With the Americans who own Man U, all their wealth is built on credit. But with the people who bought us, it's all built on oil. It's nice to know every gallon of petrol a Man U fan buys will be going into our transfer kitty" - Noel Gallagher.

Runner-Up
"I didn't want to arrive by helicopter because people will say that I'm getting carried away with success, but there was no other way. Otherwise, I would have been late for training" - Robinho explains his unusual choice of transport to Brazil's training ground.

Media News Of The Day
'It is highly unlikely that either of Fabio Capello's first two competitive qualifying matches will be shown on free to air television, after Setanta accused broadcasting rivals of "emotional blackmail" in a row over the rights to highlights of the games.

'In what is believed to be a first for such important ties, neither the away game in Barcelona against Andorra on Saturday nor next Wednesday's crucial game against Croatia in Zagreb will be shown on terrestrial television at all' - Media Guardian.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'An investigation has been launched after a police firearms specialist left a loaded gun in a Starbucks cafe in central London. The officer, who has reportedly provided personal protection for the former prime minister Tony Blair, left the pistol in the toilets after she visited the coffee shop last week. The gun was found by a member of the public' - The Guardian.


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