sport

The Page That Would Definitely Overlook The Teeth

Read My Lips
"Something is broken at Chelsea. Broken beyond repair. I have got to the point where I feel that I have nothing left to prove here in England. I need to leave and go taste new experiences. It took me a while to like Chelsea and I feel that the time is right to go elsewhere" - Didier Drogba, as quoted by France Football, 19 October 2007.

"I have always said that I am very happy at Chelsea. It's a great team with great players and a great coach. Everything's going well here and I have two years left on my contract and I will spend them at Chelsea" - Didier Drogba, as quoted by France Football, 11 August 2008.


'If You Hire A Floozy, Don't Expect Fidelity'
If you happened to spend your life reading newspapers, you could be forgiven for believing that English football is hurtling towards ruin, if not oblivion, because of the lack of loyalty in the game. Footballers, inevitably, are depicted as the architects of this imminent doom because of their money-motivated transfers and refusal to respect the time-honoured notion that loyalty is a good thing.

A typical example of this came when the The Daily Telegraph commented on Nicolas Anelka's move to Real Madrid back in 1999:

'From the start, the issue was that Anelka demanded the right to go where he liked when he liked, and to hell with contracts and loyalty.'

And the Telegraph lectured us all on the subject again in 2004, under the headline 'Eriksson has been disloyal to England and his players':

'Eriksson was being true to his promiscuous nature by inviting an offer from football's wealthiest tycoon. If you hire a floozy, you should not expect fidelity...

'On top of that, it's a bit much to suggest that the problem is the job itself, rather than his chats with Chelsea, which went on behind the back of Claudio Ranieri, the current manager. In most walks of life, the majority of us would object to a colleague conspiring against us in this way. Modern football, though, is such a mercenary business that maybe we shouldn't apply rules that exist in the rest of society.'

The last sentence is typical of an attitude among the gents of the press that footballers somehow exist on a different plane, and not that they are, like any other working person, entitled to move on for pastures new every now and then. But perhaps Paul Hayward is about to buck the trend after recently announcing that he is to leave the Daily Mail for The Guardian group.

As committed Mediawatch followers may recall, it was just three years ago that Hayward left The Daily Telegraph for the Mail, a big-money transfer that was celebrated to the extent that the Mail even produced a television marketing campaign to advertise his signing.

Hayward is expected to write for The Observer as well as The Guardian meaning that, after making a brief stop at The Independent earlier in his career, he only needs to join The Times to complete the broadsheet set. Our hearty congratulations to the man who makes Mr Anelka seem rooted.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the author of those snippets from the Telegraph was - of course - Paul Hayward.


In The Know
Writes Mihir Bose in his latest insightful blog for the BBC Website:

'Football has tried an Olympic-style opening spectacular. The Germans were very keen on one for the 2006 World Cup, even going so far as to announce an opening ceremony in Berlin before the first match of the tournament in Munich.

'But in the end it did not work and the Berlin event was cancelled. The recently concluded Euro 2008 did not even bother with an opening ceremony and decided to concentrate on the football.'

How strange. The BBC sent over 100 of their employees to this summer's jamboree and not one of them managed to inform their sports editor that Euro 2008 did indeed have an opening ceremony. Presumably they must have thought that the BBC broadcasting the event would be sufficient to put Mihir in the know.


On The Same Page
"I think we need to stop talking about the new signings. The manager, the chairman, whatever it is they have to do they are going to do it for the best of the club" - Everton's Mikel Arteta on Sky Sports.com at 12.03, August 11.

"I think the squad is short and it is important that we get some new players in but the important thing is that the players we sign are good and will strengthen us. We need players with quality. Everton is a team already that has quality and we need to add to that" - Everton's Nuno Valente on Sky Sports.com at 15.31, August 11.


Read Our Lips
"Will other clubs want him now? It goes with the territory that other clubs will come sniffing around if they are interested. But I think if we attempted to sell Carlos Cuellar at this moment in time the fans would burn the place down. . . and I'd be one of them" - Ally McCoist, May 4.

"Every professional footballer in the world would take more money if it was given to them, but Carlos isn't driven by that. He's happy with the money, the terms and the length of his contract at Rangers - so there will be no talks. I have already told Rangers he wants to stay in Glasgow" - Carlos Cuellar's agent Pedro Bravo, July 1.

"I want to stay here for many years. I like the feeling I have with the supporters and that's very important. I'm very proud to have this support and it encourages me to go out and play for them. I've never experienced such warmth in my career before and it's very special. I'm very happy at Rangers and the supporters are one of the reasons. The club is fantastic and each year we have the chance to play in the Champions League. Last season was my best as a professional player but I hope this season will be even better" - Carlos Cuellar, July 24.

"We don't want one (offer) and we are not seeking one. We don't have to sell the player or any player at this stage. We don't have to offload players simply because of that situation" - Walter Smith, August 8.

"My ambition has always been to play for my national team and I believe that playing in the biggest league in the world for Aston Villa will help me realise that. When I told [chief executive] Martin Bain on Sunday that I wanted to leave, I did so with sadness. The Rangers supporters have been fantastic to me, but I am young and want to play at the highest level and I hope they will always welcome me back. I want to thank them for everything" - Carlos Cuellar, August 11.


Sparking Up
Now we know they start smoking aged three (or something) in Italy, but Mediawatch was rather troubled to say the least to read Fabio Capello's comments about Wayne Rooney's social habits (not those ones) this morning:

"I know a lot of players who smoke, it is part of life. When I was a player, a lot of my friends and team-mates smoked. It depends if he smokes five cigarettes or 20 cigarettes."

Good to see the £1million a season the FA is paying for Don Fabio's backroom staff - that includes fitness coach Massimo Neri - is not going to waste.


The Gaffer Is Watching
Jermain Defoe looks like he's got his eyes firmly on getting into the England team this season, and he wants to take his new bestest friend Peter Crouch with him.

From F365: "When the England squad gets selected then I am sure we will be ready.

"The England manager was at Wembley and I think he knows what we can both do now."

Hmmm. If Mediawatch were to be so bold, we might suggest you don't place too much weight on that performance. Here are a few random extracts from assorted match reports of the Community Shield:

'Pompey created next to nothing in the first half, with their £18.5m strike partnership of Peter Crouch and Jermain Defoe barely having a sniff of the ball, let alone a meaningful chance' - The BBC Website.

'Crouch...Struggled to strike up much of an understanding with Defoe and there was little rapport between his foot and the ball either' - The Times.

'The anticipated partnership of Peter Crouch and Jermain Defoe is still, it seems, very much in the early stages'- The Independent.

'Ferdinand rarely put a foot out of place, but he was hardly troubled by Peter Crouch or Jermain Defoe, whose partnership understandably requires time. Under manager Harry Redknapp's guidance, their axis will surely develop well but the sparks were few and far between yesterday in a poor game' - The Daily Telegraph.


Least Appealing Trail Of The Day
"Phil [Babb] went to have tea with Harry Redknapp and caught him very relaxed. It produced a lively, jocular piece" - F365 alumni and editor of new magazine 'Football Punk' Ian Cruise tells The Guardian what to expect from his new title.


Spanish Casual Racism Of The Day
"Sometimes we get confused about the Chinese players because they all look the same" - Presenter on Spain's TVE channel (equivalent of BBC) discussing the basketball during the channel's Olympic coverage.


Childish Giggle Of The Day
'Snatch Agony For British Lifter' - RTE.ie. Sounds like she's doing it wrong.

Rumour Of The Day
'Booze addict Paul Gascoigne is on tour with hell-raising rockers Iron Maiden. The football idol has just spent two months in rehab. But he has hooked up with the heavy metal giants to 'clear his head' after his rekindled romance with ex-wife Sheryl hit the rocks' - The Daily Star.

Headline Of The Day
'Heaven's 17 For Burley' - The Press Association amaze us all with this one.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Hoop Do You Think You Are' - The Daily Mirror make some shoddy connection between Arsenal and the Harlem Globetrotters.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A pint-size down and out had made his home in a left luggage locker in a railway station. Every evening, former art student Mike Kirsch, 29, slips into locker 501 at Dusseldorf station and beds down for the night. At just 24 by 20 inches his railway residence may be handy for commuting but it's certainly more bijou than palatial. And even though he's just eight stone, nine pounds and 5ft 6 inches, it's still a squeeze for its occupant. Mike hit the road after breaking up with his student girlfriend 10 years ago and quickly settled on the locker as a secure, dry bed for the night. But now efficient German railway authorities are trying to remove him and have accused him of a breach of the peace. Now Kirsch is facing nine months in prison but said: "Who knows. Maybe I will get another chance" - Ananova.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Stannardo, Patrick Reale and Sharath Narayan. If you spot something that belongs on this page, mail theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.