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The Page That Is Struggling With The Smell Of Swine In The Morning

All For Charidee
Well what an interesting end to the Robbie Keane transfer saga that was.

It's rare in these days of underhand skullduggery that someone actually admits to flagrantly breaking the rules, but it seems that Liverpool have done just that in their relentless chase for the Irishman.

For those that missed it, here's Spurs chairman Daniel Levy's reaction to the deal.

"I was incredibly disappointed when I first heard, not only that Liverpool had been working behind the scenes to bring Robbie to Anfield, but that Robbie himself wanted to go and he submitted a transfer request to this effect.

"I have already made my opinion clear on the nature of this transaction.

"I don't regard it as a transfer deal - that is something which happens between two clubs when they both agree to trade - this is very much an enforced sale."

And with the news that Liverpool made a 'charitable donation' to the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation, it seems Liverpool have admitted to wrongdoing.

While the size of this 'donation' is unclear, the chances are that it will be less than the £300,000 Chelsea were fined over the Ashley Cole affair, and certainly less costly than the suspended three-point deduction they were given by the FA.

And in that situation, the FA had to go to the trouble of investigating the claims. This time, the miscreants have admitted their wrongdoing.

The trouble is, Liverpool's kind pledge seems to have convinced Spurs not to complain, a situation that will no doubt induce big sighs of relief at Soho Square. It looked for a minute there that they would have to do some work.

So have Liverpool bought...sorry, donated their way out of bother? Next time a 'big' club wants a man, will they just chuck a few quid in the direction of Greenpeace and wash their hands of it?


And Another Thing...
It would also be slightly easier to take Mr Levy's righteous indignation seriously if he had been a paragon of virtue throughout his time at White Hart Lane.

Mr Levy seems to have clean forgotten about those snaps of Juande Ramos meeting with Spurs officials while still very much an employee of Sevilla back in August of 2007.

He also seems to have clean forgotten about the national media and fans finding out about the sacking of Martin Jol during a UEFA Cup game against Getafe, before the jowelly Dutchman himself knew a thing about it.

Indeed, it's interesting that over the past 18 months the Spurs hierarchy seem to have got all concerned about that pesky 'means and ends' question.

For this is what sporting director Damien Comolli had to say after Ramos was signed up:

"Results matter and how you get results matters. One of the reasons Juande is here is because he gets results with style. That's how you get respect. I don't agree about [the board's] bad behaviour and a lack of respect [for the Sevilla board]."


Poisoned Dwarf
By golly Peter Kenyon is a condescending twunt, isn't he?

For the man with the most punchable face in Christendom felt the need to tell the rest of the Premier League how to run themselves yesterday, proclaiming:

"Other teams in England should be knocking on our door; teams like Tottenham, Newcastle, Villa, Everton.

"It's more about them getting their houses in order rather than us coming down to their level."

Apropos of not much, here's an excerpt from a report in the May 20 edition of The Guardian:

'Chelsea and Manchester United, the Premier League's two representatives in tomorrow's Champions League final, owe creditors £1.5bn between them. According to the latest accounts of Chelsea Limited, the company which owns the football club, Chelsea owed £736m to all its creditors. United's accounts, also recently filed at Companies House, showed total creditors at £764m.

'Covering the year to June 30 2007, Chelsea's accounts show that the club's largest creditor was the owner himself, Roman Abramovich, who had poured £578m into the club, not as a donation but as an interest-free loan.

'Kenyon released headline figures from these accounts in February, highlighting that the club made a record turnover, £190.5m, and that its losses were down from £80.2m in 2005-06 to £75.8m last year.

'If the owner's enthusiasm were ever to wane, and Abramovich decided he did want his loan back, the accounts show that Chelsea would have 18 months to find the money.'

So, you were saying something about houses and order Pete?


It's A Family Affair
'Wigan will have to invest a club record fee of around £11 million to secure Johnson's services...Sunderland are also keen on the striker but Johnson, 27, is believed to be unwilling to uproot his family from the North West, making Wigan the firm favourites for his signature' - The Daily Telegraph, July 9.

'Everton striker Andy Johnson is on the verge of a £12 million move to Fulham following a medical at Craven Cottage...The former Crystal Palace striker reportedly pulled out of the game after learning of Fulham's interest and is seeking a return to London for family reasons' - The Daily Telegraph, July 28.


The Onion Bag
Paul Ince is new to this Premier League management lark, but we reckon he may have got a little too excited about his new signings.

Said 'The Guvnor' on Monday: "Robbie Fowler is here to prove to people that he can score goals in the Premier League and Paul Robinson is no different."

Now while it's true that Robbo's goalscoring record for a keeper is quite good, does Ince have some maverick striking plans for the big man?


Bare Bones
We here are at F365 all for starting things early, but not if it involves 'Arry Redknapp and his bare bones.

For after spending the majority of last season complaining that he was light on numbers, football's finest Droopy impersonator is moaning about the size of his squad already, as he told The Portsmouth News yesterday:

"We are definitely short at the moment. Desperately short. We need another centre-half and we need wide players in midfield.

"We need a left-back. We are short there and there is no cover on that side.

"I don't think we have a squad who are going to challenge next season at present.

"I really don't think we have. There is a lack of any cover or depth. It is going to be a tough league. With the UEFA Cup and the games we have, we are going to need three players if we are going to be any kind of force. That's what we are going to need to get anywhere near what we did last year."

A record? Could well be.


Quote Of The Day
"I want to do things in my own way. I want to bring something new into the world of management. A new vision of football, a different concept, a new philosophy. I want to bring in a method that has not existed before. I intend to return to the game with something that is new and original. That is because I am an artist, and I want to revolutionise football. It would be a pleasure for me to show my vision of the game. It is very original - just wait and see" - Eric Cantona offers a cri de coeur.

Non-Football Headline Of The Day
'Stop! Itch the Police!' - The Liverpool Echo do well with a story about police officers on the Wirral having to have their uniforms destroyed because of a flea infestation.

Headline Of The Day
'Dump This Thug In The Sewer Where He Belongs' - It's not particularly subtle or witty from The Sun, but it sums Joey Barton up quite nicely.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Giggsy's Ron The Warpath' - The Sun.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A dog has appeared in court in the eastern Indian state of Bihar accused of breaching the peace. Police demanded severe action against the dog for biting people. Its owner says it has only attacked burglars. The dog, named Chhotu, has been in trouble with the law before. In 2003, a magistrate sentenced Chhotu to death. Neighbours complained he had gone mad and bitten several people. But animal rights activists managed to get the decision reversed...."Chhotu is my sole protector and I've brought him up as if he was my own child," says Rajkumari Devi who says the dog has only bitten those who have tried to break into her house' - The BBC Website


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Eoin Mark Byrne, Barrie White and Matt Taylor. If you see something that belongs on this page, mail theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject line.