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ARSENAL IN FOR A CANADIAN DUTCHMAN
The Sun this morning reports that Arsenal are set to shun the established talents of the likes of Gareth Barry, and instead stump up £12million for the man they describe as the 'Dutch Owen Hargreaves'.
Whether they see Feyenoord's Jonathan De Guzman as a similar player to Mr Hargreaves - or just that he was born in Canada but chose to play for someone else - we're not sure, but they seem pretty convinced the deal is going to happen.
Apparently De Guzman has been on Arsene Wenger's radar for a couple of years, and is now ready to move in for the kill, beating off (stop sniggering) interest from Everton.
De Guzman is described as 'tough-tackling', and said back in April that he'd rather fancy a move to London.
SWP AND FAT RONALDO AT CITEH?
Casually ignoring quotes from Shaun Wright-Phillips' agent yesterday, who claimed the wee fella isn't keen at all on a return to Manchester Citeh, The Daily Mail, The Sun and The Guardian go big with the news that Mark Hughes will get his man, and pretty soon.
They reckon Wright-Phillips will go back to Citeh in return for £8.5million after Everton failed to match the £80,000-a-week wages offered by his alma mater.
The Mail also seems reasonably convinced that Sparky is weighing up a £5million move for Espanyol right-back Pablo Zabaleta (meaning Vedran Corluka will move to Spurs, say The Times), and might also be bringing a former genius to the north-west.
Fat Ronaldo is the man in question, available for nowt after being released by Milan earlier this summer.
However, Sparky offered the following words of caution: "We are looking to promote the club in wider areas, but I have the final say on who comes here. If a player is unlikely to make an impact, I am unlikely to buy him.
"It won't help the team to buy lads at the back end of their career looking for a final payday. They won't get anywhere near my team if they are not capable of helping. It wouldn't matter who he is, he won't be coming."
THEY COULD PLAY ON SUNDAY
Quick line from The Daily Express, who claim that Albert Riera is very, very close to wrapping up a move to Liverpool.
So close in fact, that he might be available to play for Pool against Aston Villa on Sunday.
An equally quick line from The Daily Telegraph, who write an almost identical story, merely replacing the words 'Albert Riera', 'Liverpool' and 'Aston Villa' with 'Robinho', 'Chelsea' and 'Tottenham'.
TODAY'S EVERTON ROUND-UP
The latest news from Everton's last minute, Wacky Races-style rush to cram in six or seven signings before the transfer deadline is that they have wrapped up the signing of Segundo Castillo from Red Star Belgrade, according to The Daily Mail.
Castillo, if you'll remember, looked certain to join Blackburn earlier in the summer, but Paul Ince pulled out of a move after failing to agree a price with Red Star, apparently scared off by the £6million transfer fee.
Meanwhile, Everton have apparently joined Portsmouth in sniffing around Brazilian midfielder Tiago Motta, avaliable on a free from Atletico Madrid.
AND THE REST...
Linvoy Primus' season-long loan to Charlton has been shelved after Portsmouth refused to let the defender go for another six months...Lee Young-Pyo has left Tottenham to join German side Borussia Dortmund...Unsettled striker Mido has been told he is staying at Middlesbrough...Southampton have beaten Colchester and Ipswich to sign Tottenham's Czech Republic teenager striker Thomas Pekhart on a season's loan...QPR are claiming a cheeky attempt to sign Manchester United's Fraizer Campbell on loan...Leeds have joined Huddersfield and MK Dons in the chase to sign Doncaster striker Paul Hefffernan...Middlesbrough have revived their interest in Heerenveen's United States midfielder Michael Bradley...Bolton have rejected a £1million bid from Blackburn for Ali Al Habsi...Blackburn boss Paul Ince wants to bring in Czech star Michael Kadlec as competition for Stephen Warnock...Crystal Palace boss Neil Warnock is hoping to offer midfielder Ben Watson to Ipswich along with striker Alan Lee plus £1.5 million.