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The Copacetic Gossip
ALVES UP FOR GRABS
Even as seemingly the only person in Europe who doesn't really think Dani Alves is the greatest thing since sliced bread, the utter dearth of decent right-backs around (See United, Manchester, Brown, Wes) means the Gossip Column can understand why people would be excited at the chance to sign him.
Today, according to the Daily Star at least, it's Spurs and Chelski who are wetting themselves at the news Alves wants a move to England.
We're not sure why Spurs would be that interested, having just signed two right-backs and having Pascal Chimbonda kicking around as well, but hey - maybe Ramos is going to do with full-backs what Jol did with strikers.
MOYES CHASING POWER PLAYER
Michael Bradley may sound like a bad eighties singer, but he's actually a young American footballer (wait - we mean a footballer from America, not an American Footballer) plying his trade at Heerenveen. And the Daily Mirror, which reported a few weeks back that Everton wanted to sign him, are sticking to their guns.
Bu the price has gone up. 'Moyes wants to snap up the £3m-rated midfielder from Heerenveen but faces competition from Roy Keane's Sunderland,' said the newspaper in January.
Now they reckon Everton will have to fork out £4.5m for, erm, 'the kind of power player Moyes likes.'
No, we don't know what they mean by that either. Maybe he is an American Footballer after all...
ONE IN, ONE OUT AT VILLA
There are a lot of transfer terms we enjoy in the newspapers. 'Warchest,' for example, is just fantastic.
But our favourite, and it's not just because he was a Dinobot, is 'swoop'. According to the Daily Star, Aston Villa are involved in one for Peter Crouch, which we can only assume means they're planning on zooming into Anfield and lifting him out like Moe as the fan man in The Simpsons episode when Homer takes up boxing.
No such drastic measures will be needed for Luke Moore's transfer move; he'll simply be told to do one, and is expected to fetch up at either West Brom or Stoke.
JESUS CHRIST
Cesc Fabregas' new Arsenal contract is worth £33m.
Thirty. Three. Million. Pounds. For. Kicking. A. Ball. Around.
When the Gossip Column has a son, bollocks to school - he's going to be in the back garden all day, every day, doing kick-ups.
AND THE REST
Ben Foster has told Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson that he has no intention of going out on loan again...Sven Goran-Eriksson is confident captain Richard Dunne will sign a new deal at Manchester City...Manchester City, Tottenham, Everton and Portsmouth are chasing £4million-rated Rennes midfielder Stephane Mbia...Neil Warnock has put off contract talks with three of his Crystal Palace players following Tuesday's home defeat to Ipswich...West Ham left-back Joe Widdowson has joined Rotherham on loan.
